Dear Rebbetzin Feige, I'm a single Jewish 30-something woman looking for my soul mate and for the life of me I cannot find a solid Jewish mensch who, I hate to say it, is emotionally mature, ambitious, ready to settle down and commit to building a loving marriage.Someone who can handle a smart, Jewish woman like me.To all of these scenarios, I say: It is none of his or your business.That is right: Your romantic life is none of your ex’s business. Now, you may follow Gwyneth Paltrow and the pat divorce advice that informs you to constantly communicate with your ex and involve them in all decisions that involve the kids.

And finally, after thinking all the good ones were either married or lesbians, you’ve met someone you believe has staying power. And the time has come to put all your cards on the table and throw in all the chips – it’s time for you to introduce her to the kids.

Not that many people have that kind of relationship.

Pretending you do, when you don’t, only creates giant problems.

Indeed, all of us face tests and challenges to our faith, and we understand that we are measured predominantly, not by our valor in the midst of tranquility, but by our courage in the face of adversity.

Many of us harbor the misconception that our relationship to God is like a soda machine; we put in our nickel, i.e., our deference to His will (dating Jewish in your case), and out pops the soda of our choice. If there would be a direct, crystal-clear correlation between what we do and its reward or its punishment, there would be no room for free choice.